funny shit happens in the bathroom.

you know when you sit down to pee and your 5 year old walks up and pees between your legs?

no, you probably don't.   carry on.


you know when you give your 5 year old two sets of foam letters and numbers for the tub and he routinely spells out 666?

ya, me too.


tonight he spelled two of his new favorite words.  sheep and down.  I swear to you I have said and spelled the word sheep thousands of times in the last few days.  it's a real 'thing' at the moment.

he got creative with the word down tonight.  found all the m's
and w's and added them in along with all the o's and 0's.  then he flipped the W's upside down.   much hilarity ensued.

selfies and questionable videos

I don't know if your kid(s) have figured out how to take pictures and videos on your apple devices, or if you even have an apple device.  for the purposes of this blog and because it's what our house has and knows, let's say you do.

if they haven't, I can't honestly comment as to whether I consider this a pro or a con.  probably both.

mine has. 

as a result, all our Apple devices are chalk full of, for the most part, blurred and misaligned selfies, a zillion shots of his toes, the couch arm, the ceiling, complete blackness and the occasional perfectly composed shot of his junk.  

and those are just the photos.

it took a little while, but the draw of the red record button was eventually too much to resist. so then we had (still have) hundreds upon hundreds of video clips, ranging from 1 second to 10+ minutes long, depending on whether he forgets he's pressed record and wanders off.

the videos are animated versions of his photos.  lots of close ups of his face, his toes, the couch arm, the ceiling, total blackness. LOTS of scratchy running around the house with the ipad jostling under his arm, so many of his sweet voice repeating all his new words (predominantly sixty-six of course) and recently, some pretty graphic videos of his junk.

this boy knows exactly what he is doing.

won't give you the fine details of the junk videos, but use your imagination and you won't be far off.

maybe some parents would be horrified or ashamed or whatever unnecessary emotion people feel they need to attach to bodies or bodily functions.  not us. we laughed. hard.

I try to remember to go through the photos and videos on his ipad every night to delete the anywhere from 30-1500 pics and vids he's taken that day (he often just holds the shutter down for minutes at a time taking 400 of the exact same picture) but I'll admit, occasionally, I forget.

as a result, if a photo or video of my kids dangley bits shows up on FB or instagram, rest assured it's just because he's figured out how to do that too (and I forgot to clean up his ipad).